A Fast Moving....

A FAST MOVING VIOLATION, [FMV]
A parody on the defective taxable benefit legislation
That taxes people on Phantom Income.
By Victor Drummond ©
April 2008


George Blythly was enjoying life to the fullest. He had just made the last monthly payment on his late model Lamborghini and had decided to go for a relaxing drive out in the country.

He drove through familiar territory for a while but eventually arrived at an unfamiliar road named ESPP/ESO Drive. This new road appeared to be in excellent condition with rolling hills and gorgeous valleys – so George turned onto ESPP/ESO Drive.

For some reason there were no visible speed limit signs, and very little traffic, so George set his cruise control to 80 Kms/hr and began to enjoy the scenery.

Just after passing a clump of trees -- along the roadside -- a police cruiser appeared in his rear view mirror.

The cruiser had all lights flashing and the siren blaring – so George pulled over to the edge of the road and stopped.

What is the problem Officer? George asked. The policeman replied you were exceeding the posted speed limit – Kindly produce your drivers license and car registration.

Where was the speed limit posted George asked? Right back there in the clump of trees the officer replied.

OK then what speed limit is applicable to this wilderness road? Twenty Kilos per hour was the officers reply. George was shocked. Twenty kilos per hour on this broad country road – that is ridiculous – why the province speed limits on roads that are unsigned is fifty kilos/hr. I had no warning that this road was restricted to twenty kilos per hour.

Well Sir – the officer replied – Ignorance of the law is no excuse – kindly step out of the car. Why asked George?

Because Sir – I am impounding your vehicle. What is going on here said George?
I was only going eighty kilos per hour – that should not warrant impounding my car?

How fast will this car go anyway – asked the Officer?

George replied – I suppose on a flat open road I could go up to 250 kilos per hour.

Great replied the officer then that is the speed I am charging you with – and that justifies impounding your car, suspending your drivers license and levying a one thousand-dollar fine -- per kilo -- over the twenty kilo speed limit.

How in the world can you charge me for going 250 kilos per hour just because the car will go that fast.

It’s very simple and it is plainly written into the Highway Traffic code.

All cars travelling more than double the posted speed limit will be ASSUMED to be going at the vehicles maximum capacity speed -- under the “Fast Moving Vehicle” , (FMV), legislation.

George – That is absolutely ridiculous. If this car could go at 500 kilos per hour would you charge me for travelling that fast?

Officer -- Yes sir that is the law. I do not make the laws I merely enforce them.

I wont stand for this outrageous charge – replied George – who do I contact to appeal this fiasco?

Your in luck – said the officer – We have a newly appointed speeders ombudsman on the force and it is his mandate to hear your appeal and advise the court on the treatment you received while being charged with this offence.

Great – said George – There is no doubt this ombudsman will see the injustice going on here and have the charges against me dropped.

The officer replied – I wouldn’t count on that if I were you. Haven’t I been polite from the moment we met?

Yes you have said George.

Officer --Well in that case you are wasting your time appealing to the speeders ombudsman.
He has no mandate to revoke FMV charges.

In that case said George – I am taking this issue straight to my Member of Parliament and we will see just how far this unfair FMV charge goes on the basis of an unfounded ASSUMPTION.

Officer --You are welcome to take this issue up with your MP, the officer replied, but allow me to warn you only a very few SDL/JDSU speeders have ever had these FMV charges revoked by an MP’s intervention. Your chances of having your local MP do anything more than offer you condolences are slim indeed.

Officer -- Now I have removed the plates from your car – lock it up and get in the cruiser I will drop you off at the bus stop.

On the way to the bus stop George began calculating how large the FMV charge fine might be. Let’s see! 250 less 20 leaves 230 kms over the speed limit. At 1000 dollars per FMV kilo his fine will be $230,000

George estimates he will have to sell his car, re-mortgage his house and empty his saving account to pay this penalty.

Does the above parody sound outrageous and far in excess of reality?

If you think so – just ask anyone who has been victimized by the REAL defective taxable benefit ASSUMED Fair Market Value, (FMV), legislation.

If your Member of Parliament – or anyone soliciting your vote – in the next federal election will not give you a commitment to change this defective, obnoxious and abusive legislation – then tell them straight out – no commitment then no vote.

See you at the federal election voting polls O’Grady.

Victor Drummond ©